Monday, December 24, 2007

vulnerability

so a couple of blogs ago I said that I "get pretty hurt when people try to make a fool out of me." Let's attempt to examine why. (caution! i have no idea where this is gonna go!). well let's look into my past a bit. Growing up I didn't have very many friends, and the few friends that i did have weren't very good friends. Whenever I had to rely on people, or opened up to people, they would either not come through for me, take advantage of me, or betray my trust. So gradually I found it easier to withdraw from people, not rely on or allow anyone to help me, and didnt let anyone know the real me. After I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ, I found that i couldn't go on that way shutting people out. I gradually started letting people in, starting with my closest friends. The first people i really opened up to were my pledge bros. Its still hard for me to open up, so when people are malicious with my feelings, it hurts even more.

Well there it is,
Tim

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

well nasa, so you know...EVERYONE has this problem of opening up to people/shutting people out. It's a hard balance...and you're simply not alone in feeling this way.

--ashley j.